I was reading a posting forwarded to me this morning from Seth Godin’s blog called The Problem with Positive Thinking. In the post he writes “Key question then: why do smart people engage in negative thinking? Are they actually stupid?
The reason, I think, is that negative thinking feels good. In its own way, we believe that negative thinking works. Negative thinking feels realistic, or soothes our pain, or eases our embarrassment. Negative thinking protects us and lowers expectations.”
I found his comments so interesting. I have struggled in my life with having that attitude of gratitude, always being positive, seeing the glass half full instead of half empty, etc., etc. This is a great place for Christians to really beat themselves up and experience guilt and shame. We need more of that you know! KIDDING!
It hit me that I have felt that if I didn’t honor my pain I was somehow stuffing it or living in denial. It hit me this morning that it was a lie. Along with the 52 million other lies that I have lived off of this is yet another one. Growing up in a chaotic alcoholic family where no one is talking about the white elephant in the middle of the living room I moved to a place of recovery where people “got it” and listened. They validated my “truth”. But it so often I see people get stuck right here. The negative feelings, emotions, thoughts, etc that they grew up become so familiar that they in themselves become a somewhat of an addiction, a familiar place to take your pain. At some point in every recovery there has to be a shift at where you give yourself permission to have fun, be happy, etc. I have watched people in recovery spend years wearing mourning clothes for a lost childhood, adolescence, your adulthood, etc. That in some way that is honoring the past person that grew up in that alcoholic home or became an alcoholic themselves and endured the abuse of that environment.
So my challenge for the days is what would happen if instead of looking at the harshness in each situation you saw the joy? What if in each situation instead of looking at the bad, you focused on the good? What would happen? Would that really mean denial? Would that really mean you weren’t seeing the truth?
Truth is so evasive. Truth has multiple sides and what I have learned is that what I see or hear and especially feel is not always the whole truth. I never know what God is working on for my good at any single moment. When you get to your mid-40’s the thing you realize is that in your life things that you thought were the most incredible opportunity have turned out to be nightmares and the things that you thought were the end of the world have turned out to be incredible blessings.
So just for today I challenge you to choose positive in all situations. Just for today honor that childhood lost, that teenager lost, that young adult lost with positive energy/thought. Just for today focus on the word of God in Romans 8:28 “We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to [His] design and purpose.”
Today choose to honor God’s truth, God’s word rather than your pain and your interpretation of the truth/reality. God works off a different playing field than the world. Just for today choose to believe what He says about you rather than what you think or feel about you!
Blessings ~
Tammy Hardin, Relapse Prevention Specialist and Life Coach
