Well obviously Valentine’s Day is coming again as every woman that I have counseled in the last two days has mentioned it and how they are already dreading it. I work with women in multiple phases of life so the single and/or divorced women are all depressed or anxious because they know they are not receiving anything for Valentine’s Day and the married women are already mad because they know their husband is going to disappoint them. The women from both groups seem to have the same issue they are not going to receive flowers, candy, etc. in front of their co-workers on Valentine’s so they will not “feel special”. So I would like to challenge your thought just a little.
First off let us look at the keeping up with the Jones’s that being concerned about your not having what others have implies. So if Sally receives flowers and I do not does that really mean that my husband loves me less? Really???? Or does it mean that he isn’t wrapped up in commercialism or does it mean that money is tight right now and that is not the “wise” thing to do? Or maybe there really is a problem in the relationship but do you honesty believe that just because Sally receives flowers and you don’t that her life is somehow better than yours? REALLY????
Secondly, is whether I receive flowers on Valentine’s Day really all that defines me as special? UGH! Isn’t that like relying on people and things to classify me as special rather than knowing that I am special and significant because I am the daughter of the King? For all my Christian friends, that is what being a Christian is really all about, I am a child of God which makes me a daughter of the KING. Just how much more special do you really need to be?
Look I know this is hard it is kind of like going to a birthday party when you are on a diet. All those people eating cake and having a good time when you “can’t”. But the truth is this is a choice. You can choose to be happy in all circumstances including singing praises while in prison just ask Paul and Silas. If you are a child of God you can’t get anymore special than you already are. Waiting on others to make you “feel special” is banking your happiness on others actions, they will fail 9 out of 10 times. Don’t give someone else that kind of power, no one wants to be responsible for your happiness.
So let me tell you a quick story, several years ago I was in the process of a divorce and too was dreading Valentine’s Day. That first year your divorced is awful just for the record, it comes with a bucket of self pity. So I decided that if I was going to be unhappy I was going to over compensate in the other direction. I went to the store and bought a couple boxes of those stupid kids cards that you received in elementary school, a large bag of those candy hearts with messages on them, a roll of red cellophane and roll of ribbon. I then made up a little bag of candy with a card for everyone in my office. On Valentine’s Day I went in early and placed them on everyone’s desk and didn’t tell that I was the cupid in the office. They loved it. You know for some of the folks in my office it was the only Valentine’s they received. Do you know how wonderful it made me feel to love on other people. Do you know how special I felt that day to know that I could make a difference in someone else’s life?
Maybe this Valentine’s Day you could focus on what you can do for others rather than focusing on what is NOT being done for you. The blessings will last way longer than a bunch of over priced, freezer burned roses that you won’t even remember next year. You see it has been almost twelve years ago since I blessed my office with a Valentine’s surprise and my heart is still flooded with the memories of others……
Blessings ~ Tammy
P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day, Jesus LOVES YOU! He is sold out crazy about you!
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
Oh I just love you!!! Thank u sooooooo much for this post!