Why Do I Do What I DON'T Want to Do?

It seems like I am constantly talking about the 5 trillion pound phone when meeting with early recovering addicts. You know when they offer phone calls as life lines on T.V. shows no one hesitates but when it is suggested as a way to save your life then it becomes a different story!

Week after week I meet with people early in recovery and talk to them about using the phone. The deal is we need to call our sponsor or mentor daily. I know, I know,  I saw that eye roll and felt the panic in your heart. And here comes the ticker tape in your brain…. I don’t want to bother anybody, I am sure they are busy. They don’t really want me to call them. I am not having a craving or being emotional so why should I call, I don’t need them. I got this thing licked so I don’t need to call. I am not really doing that well, I will bring them down. I don’t have anything to talk about. The list is ad nauseam.

Folks all this garbage in your head is just that garbage. You need help. If you knew how to stay clean or emotionally balanced you have done that already. But the truth is you don’t have a clue or we wouldn’t be having this conversation. The deal is you have to invest in the game. You have to take the risk and put yourself out there. That means pocketing your pride and picking up the 5 trillion pound phone.

This is a posturing issue, posturing before the Lord. It is a stake in the ground that you intend to be sober whether physically, emotionally or both no matter what and you are willing to go to any lengths to get there. You as an act of faith need to pick up the phone and ask someone else for help. Share with that person how life is going today, what your actions are for today and what your thought life is for today. You see recovery is worked in 24 hour periods. 

There are two things that happen in this process. One someone that is further down the path will be able to tell you when you are about to step off a ledge or into a pot hole. When someone has plowed the ground before you they have experience to share regarding places that hung them up and can recognize it when you are about to step off into an abyss. Secondly, you will be creating muscle memory. Muscle memory is when your body responds without thought because it has practiced so many times. So if you practice using the phone when you in fact are in trouble you will automatically pick up the phone because that is what you have been practicing.

You know none of this is rocket science.  If you want life to be different you have to do life different.  Recovery is about what your action today, not what your thoughts are, your intentions are, what you did last week or last month.  You have to take action today. Not taking action is like wanting an Arnold Schwarzenegger body without ever putting forth the effort to lift weights.  Insanity!

Fight for your recovery, fight for soundness of mind, fight for your new life.

Blessings ~Tammy